#99 – 12 Apr 2024

Welcome!

It’s been almost four years since I got made redundant at my finance job during the pandemic.

I can still feel the pain, the uncertainty, the unsettling feeling of being lost.

But after that initial upheaval of my world turning upside down, it wasn’t so bad…

What an incredible chapter of experimentation it kicked off — I became a writer and coach! Something I had been longing to do but could never find the time or bandwidth to do.

I’m now eternally grateful for that unexpected job loss.

But with an impending milestone (a special 100th newsletter issue for you next week), I feel compelled to announce a change that has been brewing in the background.

A big change.

A change in strategy.

A change in what I want to focus on — for the long term.

Ok, ok, I won’t tease, and I’ll just give you 3 headlines here:

1. I’m ending this newsletter (Matt K. Head Letter) after next week’s issue #100.

Don’t worry, I’m not giving up on writing:

It’s actually the beginning of the next chapter!

It’s time to simplify. Do less but dive deeper:

2. I will roll this list into my other newsletter (The Meaning Path) hosted on Substack.

And… The elephant in the room:

3. I’m going back to being an employee!

Now, you might be like, “Whaaaaaaaaat?!!”

Ok, here are all the juicy details, which I’ll openly lay out in the hope that it can help you navigate similar decisions around purpose, family, and types of work.

Why do I want to go back to being an employee?

See, I haven’t been happy lately. Ironic as I often write about fulfilment. But honestly, I’ve felt spread too thin, while feeling the weight of various pressures.

I started this online game as a writer and coach four years ago when things were different. I was fed up after 12 years of climbing the corporate ladder, only to be made redundant when the pandemic struck. I didn’t like feeling so “disposable”. So, I wanted to build my own thing. I wanted:

FREEDOM.

And freeing it was!

What a creative journey I’ve had.

Things have evolved nicely.

But my priorities have changed since when I kickstarted my solopreneur journey.

My wife and I started a family. I am a proud father to 2 beautiful little boys. They are now my number one priority.

This led me to consider: What is the most appropriate path for my family and me during this stage of life? Does it make sense to be an employee or entrepreneur? Or both?

Being an employee certainly has drawbacks — a lack of freedom, control, autonomy, and limited income growth year on year.

However, it has extremely attractive upsides, like security, stability, professional growth, connection, and team bonding.

I see many pro-solopreneur (one-person business) types on social media bashing up the choice to be an employee. Hint: These people usually sell a course on how to be a solopreneur.

The truth is being a solopreneur does have some fantastic benefits if done right — freedom, purpose, autonomy, personal growth, and potentially unlimited financial upside — just to name a few.

But it also has some massive drawbacks, as I found out over my four-year experiment, which I want to highlight in greater detail to provide context for my decision to change:

It’s bloody lonely

Sure, you work with clients and connect with peers, but person-to-person contact is only a portion of your work as a solopreneur.

Most of the time, it’s you (and maybe your dog) alone in your home office.

At first, breaking off the corporate shackles feels liberating, but after four years of working from home? Honestly, it’s a little lonely and uninspiring.

You can’t beat human connection. I don’t care what people say about social media, DMs and emails; they’re not the same.

I’m actually craving to get out into the real world, interact with real people, spend less time on social media, and bond more with a team. See, I always excelled in team environments. I am a team player, and I miss that aspect of team culture terribly.

It’s all on you

Again, this is fun initially, especially for someone like me who loves learning. I enjoy trying new things and mastering new skills. I went from being solely an accountant to being the CEO and chief of strategy, operations, finance, sales, marketing and creative work.

I was in my element, juggling all these plates. Until I started to burn out, it took a heavy toll on me trying to do it all.

When starting, you can’t justify hiring staff. So it’s all on you in the beginning. However, innovative AI tools and affordable contractor platforms make this transition easier today.

You get sick, or your kid gets sick? There’s no one else to step in and do the work that needs doing.

It just piles up like an avalanche, along with your stress levels.

And some days, you just wish you could check out.

After my little experiment, I’m excited to return to the corporate table with my expertise and focus on what I am good at.

I’m craving simplicity and focus. Also, I’m remembering how personally rewarding mastery is in a narrow field, as opposed to trying to “do it all”.

There’s no guidance

Part of it being all on you means you must chart the direction. We often lack the clarity to know the right moves and where we want to go. Sometimes, you wish you had that boss to ask, “Which way is the right way?”.

This uncertainty is where mentors and trusted peers are a godsend. You need someone to bounce ideas off.

Still, there is always this looming fear that you are focusing on the wrong thing or missing something important. You have to learn to live with it.

Reflecting on guidance reminds me that I miss that organisational shared feeling of purpose that comes with working with a team on a mission greater than yourself.

There is something special about coming together as a team, each with strengths and weaknesses, and doing great work.

Freedom? The balance is a myth

People rave about “Freedom” as an entrepreneur. But here’s what I found: You end up working 100x more.

Why?

Cause it’s your baby. It’s your dream.

So you have this never-ending tank of fuel driving you as you relentlessly hunt down your goals. The work doesn’t feel like “work” like it does in a salary job. It’s your mission. And you will do what it takes to make it happen.

Now, I find this is an awesome feeling and a way to live life with purpose. But here’s the catch:

My “work baby” was getting in the way of my real babies (my kids).

Since starting my entrepreneurial journey, I have welcomed two baby boys into the world. And I’ve been constantly juggling between them and the work. I feel constant guilt that I am not giving them enough.

When you work for yourself at home, there is a trap:

You always fill in the gaps with more work!

The temptation is too much. There’s no “off” switch. You wake up thinking about your business and think about it as you fall asleep.

It’s a recipe for burnout.

So you re-set boundaries constantly, but the work keeps creeping back in! When it comes down to it, you always justify with “the family needs the income”.

But I think this is a form of hiding — Hiding from facing up to your workaholic tendencies.

You justify why “you have to do it”, but that’s not what your kids want to hear. They couldn’t care less about a bit of extra income. They just want to see you, present, in their lives.

Now I know you can set up systems in time to free up time and manage your business for freedom. But I am referring to this early stage, where you work things out and set things up.

The fact is you need to work hard to make it happen.

I want to contrast this with the fact that the corporate world has dramatically changed in the last four years — work-life balance, flexibility and employee wellbeing are now more respected and appreciated by organisations — there is an ability to switch off, if you choose.

You face constant boom and bust

You go through regular ups and downs at the beginning of your entrepreneurial journey. You need a thick skin. It’s like whack-a-mole with problems while you figure things out.

I would argue you are never in total control — the pandemic showed us this: the market changes, a recession hits, competitors pop up, AI disrupts the game… There are endless roadblocks and hurdles to jump over.

Now, if you are driven and growth-minded, these challenges can be a blessing as you rise to higher and higher heights of character.

But assuming you are new to the game, you don’t yet have the skills or foresight to prevent the existential issues you will face.

It’s all one big learning experience.

If you are balancing a young family and want to be present with your kids in the early years, maybe you don’t want to invite all that drama into your life.

I found I was already not getting enough sleep with a newborn and toddler, but adding entrepreneurial stress really ramps up the pressure.

And so, while I still love the thrill of the journey, something has changed:

I’m growing tired of the constant up-and-down, rollercoaster nature of entrepreneurship. Now that I’ve got a family and mortgage, I crave a sense of security and stability.

And as I get older, I’m becoming more and more ok with:

ENOUGH.

I don’t need it all. I don’t need to take over the world. I already have everything I need right in front of me. So why not protect and nurture what is precious?

Beware of taking life advice from 21-year-olds on the internet. Their circumstances and priorities are different. They are yet to gain the life perspective you have around what truly matters.

Here’s my next big insight. I didn’t see this one coming… My view on “freedom” has changed since becoming a solopreneur and father:

Security is freedom

What?

Online gurus will make you believe they are opposites. They tell you to quit your full-time job, go all-in on your business idea and become a millionaire in 6-12 months?…

Yeah right.

Here’s what I’ve learned. Unless you have some magic pill, or you are blessed with unlimited resources, proven support and a golden offer from the get-go:

Things aren’t going to happen quickly.

It’s a slow burn. It’s a series of progress and setbacks. And the more you look into every online success, the more you will see they were probably grinding in the background for 3 to10+ years beforehand.

And so now I have come to see security as freedom.

You don’t want to be the starving artist. That sucks. It will kill your creativity. And it will make you needy. You’ll feel pressured to compromise your values and do things you hate. Not good at all!

Having a part-time or full-time income is a massive source of support.

That support gives you a solid foundation to build your dream slowly, over a longer time horizon.

You need to become great at sales and marketing… or die.

This one hurts for people who don’t take to sales and marketing naturally. But it’s true. And the good news?

These are skills you can learn!

But… It takes a lot of effort, a resilient mindset, and a love of hearing the word “no”.

Yep, you must keep putting yourself out there, experimenting, iterating, and pushing on through the face of constant “no” until you find the “yeses”.

I found this one extremely hard as I am an introvert from an accounting background. Sales and marketing was a totally unknown world. I am grateful to have learned a lot through experience, coaching, courses, and a ton of online resources.

But ultimately, I realised:

I don’t enjoy the online hustle for clients. It’s not my style to be noisy and needy, always on the hunt for the next client. It never felt right.

And so I reflected on what approach I do like:

One conversation at a time.

One deep, powerful conversation at a time.

I enjoy working with a handful of clients. Ones that I know, like and trust. I don’t need millions of followers online to funnel into clients, like the online marketing gurus try to convince me. No, that’s not my style. I don’t want to play that game.

I refuse to scream for attention, clog people’s feeds with self-marketing trash, or creep into people’s DMs to sneakily sell. I hate that style.

I will quietly and slowly build my coaching practice in the background, by invitation and referral, one powerful conversation at a time.

I’m limiting my focus to only two coaching clients per month. So that I can serve powerfully and only work with the people I want to work with.

Why do I have the pleasure of doing it my way?

Because I am in no rush.

Big lesson there.

The cost of social media

Many online solopreneurs rely on social media for business development – generating leads, and nurturing customers/clients.

On the one hand, this is a wonderful thing! Social media has given leverage to the little guys. The power once reserved only for large corporations with deep pockets is now in your hands. You don’t need a massive advertising budget. You can play smart online and grow your business organically.

But in that opportunity also lies the dark side.

The social media “hustle” can easily take over, and soon, you are serving the tech gods instead of your own mission. Suddenly, social media feels like a chore, and you realise you have given up the corporate hamster wheel for another one — the social media hamster wheel of daily content, comments, and DMs.

What once served a valuable business purpose can soon come at the expense of your physical and mental health, family, hobbies, and your “life’s work”.

Yes, I’ve started to wonder:

All that mucking about online could be costing me something greater…

What if I put more of that scrolling and chatting with strangers into something more meaningful, like writing? Maybe I could write a book over a year. That would be more fulfilling than an extra few thousand “followers” who rarely see my stuff.

Or what if I dived deeper with my existing connections rather than constantly seeking new, shallow connections?

Big questions worth reflecting on… What do you really want here?

When you start out, vanity metrics like followers and likes seem cool, but you quickly realise they aren’t what matters.

If you are more of an “artist”, you will feel torn

One of the challenges of entrepreneurship for those who are more creative or artistically minded is this:

Focusing on one core idea. And staying focused.

Yep, business works best when it is boring.

You find what works, often a niche, and keep doing it. Much of the work is systems and administration.

This can be hard for the inner artist who wants to experiment, try new things, and push their creative limits.

But chasing shiny objects doesn’t pay the bills.

And here’s another issue:

You may find that what does pay the bills doesn’t inspire you anymore.

For example, I found my coaching was naturally heading more into organisational leadership work as that was where the more lucrative opportunities were.

But I didn’t enjoy spending all day working with people who were “forced” into coaching by their manager, or navigating organisational politics issues. And the idea of marketing myself in that space? That crippled me inside. As I knew I wanted something else.

I felt torn between two paths — my creative heart and building a meaning-centred community off my writing (uncertain but fulfilling) versus the organisational leadership space (faster financial success).

I learned that creative types should not sacrifice long-term vision for short-term financial success. You want to create what is true to your heart. You want to bring your dream to life, not someone else’s!

But you can’t ignore the financial side.

This all leads to my new path:

Full-time job while quietly building on the side over a 10+year time horizon

I needed some clarity forward after considering all the options in my head. I started to think:

• What type of game do I want to play?
• What type of game would I love to play?
• How could I take all the pressure off myself?
• How could I free myself up to do more of what matters?

After all my years of self-reflection, I know pretty well what I like:

Playing a slower, deeper, more meaningful game.

I don’t want to get sucked into the fast, grow-at-all-costs online marketing world. No. You don’t want to see me vomiting out posts like “7 copywriting tips to ignite your income” or “12 websites that are so good they should be illegal”.

Yuk.

Sadly, this stuff works on some level, usually with a younger beginner crowd online.

But no, that is not me.

And that’s not you.

We both want something deeper, something more meaningful.

And I’ve realised that if we want to do what WE WANT, we have to do it SLOWLY, over a LONGER time horizon.

What is deep and meaningful to you probably won’t go viral.

No.

I’m guessing it won’t be cat videos.

So, it will be a slow burn as you accumulate your true fans. It takes time for your tribe to find you online.

I’m thinking of a 10+ year time horizon instead of the quarterly corporate cycle.

It’s a bigger game.

And I don’t see many people discussing this or playing this game.

In there lies an opportunity.

I want to build something more timeless, work that lasts.

But it can be hard to do this as all the noise online is pushing you to do the latest and most extraordinary things — “AI”, “ChatGPT”, “NFTs”, you name it, which usually bubble with hype and then go away. However, AI isn’t going away. But my point stands… I don’t want to get sucked into talking about AI all day for the sake of “growth”.

Or there is the ultimate pyramid scheme – the coaches online who grow by talking about growing, creating the next breed of coaches talking about growing to grow.

Yuk.

I need to distance myself from the noise to play the game I want to play. Otherwise, you get sucked into talking about the meaningless junk you consume.

I’m not sure what that means for me yet.

But I have started with LESS time on social media. I’m hardly on there at all at the moment. I schedule posts, make a few comments, and then get the hell away from there.

Choose deep over shallow work.

See, with kids at home, I’ve got less time to be creative. And I don’t want to spend that doomscrolling. I would much rather be writing or reading a book.

The quality you consume affects the quality you put out.

Be mindful of what you are consuming.

The point on “inputs” is also relevant for the work you choose to do. Where possible, you should aim for it to invigorate you and inspire your creativity. Don’t settle for something that drains you completely or bores you to death.

I’m excited about the mission with my new team.

One key point I want you to leave here with is:

It’s ok to take a job to pay your way while slowly building your dream.

It’s more than ok.

It’s probably the best way.

Now, you might feel you won’t have time for your dream if you take a job.

But no, there is always time — cut out Netflix, social media, the news or whatever timesuck grabs your attention. You should be able to find 30 minutes to 1 hour each day to devote to your life’s work.

So what is it that you’re going to build, slowly?

Well, I mentioned I despise the annoying, needy, noisy, in-your-face marketing approach for clients online.

But here’s what I’ve learned, I do LOVE:

• Writing
• Coaching
• Conversations

I consider those three my zones of genius. That is when I feel at my best, and it’s where I can devote endless energy, too, as they fill my cup.

So, how can I build a path where I focus on them?

And how can I take all the pressure off myself?

Here’s my "slow" solution:

• Full-time job — Takes care of financial security and family needs. It provides a sense of purpose outside of myself and connects me with the world.
• Family — gets most of my free time, and now, without the entrepreneurial stresses.
• Writing — Write for 1 hour each morning. I am liberated creatively to focus on what lights me up without pressure to compromise.
• Coaching — Limit 2 coaching clients per month after-hours.
• Conversations — Connect deeper with one person each week. That’s 52 connections each year, which could create infinite opportunities, rather than a “spray and pray” approach on social media.

And so, what is required to make this happen?

Now that I have clarity on my dream, I realise I don’t need a full working week for my creator obligations.

I can achieve it in 1 hour a day — mostly writing each morning, and 2x monthly coaching sessions and some conversations in the evening.

That’s the beauty of clarity!

Find your north star. When you know what you want, everything is easier!

And having that north star liberates me from the dilemma of “what to do” in my limited free time. I can use Parkinson’s law to my advantage. I have learned the hard way that unlimited time without a core focus can be a curse.

It allows me to purposefully devote myself to my full-time job as it is 100% aligned with supporting my family and long-term creator mission.

Radical simplification

Yep. I’ve got to simplify.

I want to focus on one main creative thing. I’ve been too scattered (2 newsletters, social media, YouTube, podcast, coaching, leadership development).

I’m glad I tried it all, though, as now I know what I love the most:

Writing.

Still, it’s been eating me up as I try to decide where to write.

But I’m following my energy and what brings me the most joy and excitement for the future:

The Meaning Path

I have been slowly building another newsletter community in the background (10 months in), one more aligned with who I uniquely am and the impact I want to make on the world. I recently wrote about my plans for The Meaning Path here:

Here’s the current tagline:

I invite you to join me in this next chapter.

After my 100th newsletter here (next week), I’m shutting this one down (hosted on ConvertKit), and I’ll move you over to my new newsletter, The Meaning Path (hosted on Substack).

FYI, when the list transfer happens, you may get an automated confirmation email from "Matt K Head @ Substack".

I am genuinely excited about Substack. Now that I have accepted my fate as a "writer", not a marketer, it makes total sense — Substack is THE platform for writers. The ability to comment and network on newsletters there is powerful. The longer form format, beautiful minimalist design, unfiltered themes and community vibes attract heart-centred creatives and deep thinkers, who inspire me!

If the journey no longer resonates, feel free to unsubscribe. I don’t check unsubscribes. This long-term mission is about something deeper than playing to the numbers. I encourage you to follow what is meaningful for you.

Let's wrap this up

I’m not here to tell you what to do. I’m simply sharing an honest take on my story in the hope that it might provide some insight you can apply to your journey.

And most importantly:

Spend time getting to know yourself.

• What do you value?
• What is your personality?
• What are your strengths and weaknesses?
• What is your appetite for risk?
• How do you handle stress?
• What is it you actually want to achieve? And what timeline would you be comfortable with?

Understand what’s best for you and what you value.

And “pick your poison” accordingly, as no path is perfect.

Cheers,

Matt

P.S.

I hope this long-winded but vulnerable letter can inspire you to make the meaningful change you need to make, but have been holding back on.

You can do it!

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Thanks for reading!

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